


The Thing About You

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Short Stories! [58]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, They're Just Dummies Falling for Each Other, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23367919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: The team is tired of Tony waxing poetic about Bucky and the normal Winteriron getting together shenanigans ensue.*******“Brucie bear.” Tony pillowed his chin on Bruce’s shoulder, cuddling close to his favorite genius. “Listen. The thing about Bucky is–”“I’m holding a laser and I’ll use it to cut your nose off if you start talking about Bucky.” Bruce said flatly. “Don’t test me, Tony. I sat through your ‘thing about Bucky’ speech last week when you said his scowl turns you on and wondered if that's a plea from your inner self for structure and discipline.”“You got all that from my ‘Bucky’s frown makes me feel like a subby bottom’ spiel?” Tony frowned. “I was going more for, ‘maybe he’ll turn me over those Thighs of Destruction of spank me’ but now I’m worried my inner self IS pleading for structure and discipline.”“Tony, I’m warning you. Laser. Nose. Stop talking.”“Okay but the thing about Bucky is that he’d make an excellent Dom, right?” he decided. “Firm and you know… huge.. and I’m pretty sure he could– EEK!”The laser swept through the air close enough to singe Tony’s curls and he shrieked, “BRUCE!”“I warned you, Tony."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Short Stories! [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/786345
Comments: 46
Kudos: 892





	The Thing About You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ceealaina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceealaina/gifts).



> So this is for @ceealaina who lets me text me random horny-for-bucky things at all hours of the night and is also nice enough to not only answer, but also not to judge (which she should, cos after my after midnight texts are FUNKY) I love you muchly and I’m glad we fangirl together.

“Okay so here’s the thing about Bucky.” Tony dragged a chair up to the kitchen table and turned it around so he could sit backwards, arms crossed on the back rest and chin propped comfortably. “The thing about Bucky is– Steve, are you listening?” 

“No, I’m not listening.” Steve snapped the newspaper open pointedly. “Because I’m catching up on current events and political happenings, as well as perusing coupons and having a chuckle at the funny pages. I am _not_ listening to you wax weird about my best friend.” 

“First of all, I’m waxing _poetic_ about Bucky.” Tony huffed. “And second of all, my _god_ you are an old man. You’re gonna have a ‘chuckle’ at the funny pages? Nobody talks like that.” 

“Bucky talks like that, because he’s every bit as old as I am.” the Captain replied calmly. “In fact, he’s _older_ than I am. So there’s a thing about Bucky, Tony. He’s ancient and its weird that you’re interested in someone sixty years older than you.” 

Tony’s eyes narrowed, his jaw setting in irritation. “You know… for someone who wears spandex and glitter while running around with a frisbee, you are the least fun ever.” 

“Well at least my spandex and frisbee proves I’m not trying to over compensate for anything.” Steve turned a page and raised a knowing eyebrow. “Unlike the one person on the team who armors up in a flying suit that is at _least_ eight inches taller than him. Hows that _compensating_ going, Tony?” 

“I….” Tony huffed again. “Well I– I’m six feet tall! I am!” 

“You’re maybe five and a half feet tall, Tony. Natasha calls you pocket sized when you’re not around.” Steve turned another page. “And by the way, I don’t wear glitter. It’s just the natural sparkle of my eyes and the healthy glow of my rosy cheeks.” 

“Should’ve left you as a Capsicle.” Tony threw his hands up in the air and stalked away. “I’ll talk to someone else about Bucky!” 

“Oh thank God.” 

***************

“So here’s the thing about Bucky.” Tony leaned against the side of the ring and watched Natasha obliterate a training dummy. “I can’t tell if I like his hands or if I just have a robot kink. Because that’s weird right? I build robots and sorta fly around in one, so having that sorta kink would be weird but also understandable, and since Bucky’s left hand is–” 

“Okay.” Tasha pushed her hair out of her eyes and blew out a breath. “Tony, if you’re gonna sit here and talk about all the nasty stuff you want to do to Bucky’s hand, you’re gonna have to let me hit you. I can’t listen to this without punching something.” 

“Okay, that’s fair.” He ducked under the ropes and picked up a set of gloves, motioning for her to start. “So I mean, not all that weird I’m into robotic things? Have you heard the noise his arm makes when he flexes? I wish I could make my armor make that noise but then again I feel like I’d have a boner all the time so– _OOOPH_!” 

Stunned and _wheezing_ , Tony blinked up at Natasha from the ground. “Did you just knee me in the back of the head? How is that even possible?” 

“Sorry.” she reached down to help him back up. “Men talk about boners and the knees start flying. Can’t help it.” 

“Okay but _seriously_ , how is that possible?” Tony smoothed down the back of his severely damaged hairstyle. “No B-words, I get it. Anyway, the thing about Bucky is that sometimes I think he’s _purposefully_ doing things left handed so I will stare. Is that crazy? How would I even know that?” 

“Well.” Natasha’s foot kicked out and damn near decimated Tony’s tummy. “You could use your words like a grown ass man and talk to him instead of letting me beat the crap outta you mid conversation.” 

“I feel like you could also not try to disembowel me.” Tony pointed out. “Just– just a thought. Disemboweling isn’t real conducive for conversation.” 

“Creeping on Bucky around corners isn’t real conducive for conversation either.” she retorted. “I’m going to choke you out between my thighs now, okay?” 

“Huh.” Tony looked down at himself in interest. “Look at that. Both robotic appendages _and_ threats of death by thigh pop the proverbial B-word. Who knew?” 

“I love you very much.” Natasha took him down with embarrassingly little effort, then smacked a loud kiss onto Tony’s lips as he tried to recover from his head bouncing off the mat. “Please go talk to Bucky. Stop talking to us about him, okay? Be an adult about this. You’re forty years old.” 

“And pocket sized, apparently?” Tony challenged, and Tasha muttered something vaguely threatening about Steve in response. “Okay. I’ll see you later. And I love you too.” 

***************

“So here’s the thing about Bucky.” Tony pushed that weird perpetual motion thing off Pepper’s desk and lay out on the surface, legs dangling off the edge and feet kicking in the air. “He has amazing thighs. Like amazing. And I’ll fully admit I didn’t know I had a thing for thighs before meeting him? But Tasha just threatened to strangle me with hers and that was way hotter than it should have been so maybe I’ve always been in to them? When we were together, was I into your thighs?” 

“Tony.” Pepper did one of those sighs that sounded like it came from the very depths of her soul. “I’m waiting for a all from an international client. Could we maybe talk about how you’re in love with quite possibly the most dangerous person in the world _later_?”

“We could, but I’m already laying on your desk and I think Tasha cracked one of my ribs so I’ll probably be laying here all day. It’s a little hard to breathe.” 

“Get off my desk, Tony.” 

“Not until you tell me if you like Bucky’s thighs too.” Tony maintained. “Is it just a me thing? Or is it like, a universal Bucky thing where everyone likes watching him squat?” 

“Okay.” Another one of those sighs. “If I tell you how I feel about Bucky squatting, will you leave me in peace so we don’t lose this very important client?” 

“…yes?” 

“I like to watch Bucky squat because his butt is frankly, ridiculous.” the redhead admitted. “The thigh thing is a you thing though, I don’t know if it’s cos you’re short and are just jealous of long legs–”

“I AM SIX FEET TALL!” 

“Aw sweetie, we slept together remember? You’re actually a few inches shorter than me.” Pepper wrinkled up her nose teasingly. “And since we agreed you’d leave once I talked about Bucky’s butt, would you please get out of here so I can work?” 

“Fine.” Tony grumbled and groaned and whined a little as he rolled off the desk. “I’ll find someone else to talk to.” 

**************

“Brucie bear.” Tony pillowed his chin on Bruce’s shoulder, cuddling close to his favorite genius. “Listen. The thing about Bucky is–” 

“I’m holding a laser and I’ll use it to cut your nose off if you breathe down my neck about Bucky’s hair.” Bruce said flatly. “Don’t test me, Tony. I sat through your ‘thing about Bucky’ speech last week when you waxed weird about how his scowl turns you on and whether or not that is some reflection on your issues with authority and really just a plea from your inner self for some structure and discipline.” 

“You got all that from my ‘Bucky’s frown makes me feel like a subby bottom’ spiel?” Tony’s eyebrows all but flew off his forehead. “I was going more for, ‘maybe he’ll turn me over those Thighs of Destruction of spank me’ but now I’m worried my inner self _is_ pleading for structure and discipline.” 

“Tony, I’m warning you. Laser. Nose. Stop talking.” 

“Okay but the thing about Bucky is that he’d make an excellent Dom, right?” he decided. “Firm and you know… huge.. and I’m pretty sure he could– _EEK!_ ” 

The laser swept through the air close enough to singe Tony’s curls and he backpedaled into another table shrieking, “BRUCE!” 

“I warned you.” Bruce went back to his work. “And for the record, you _do_ need structure and discipline. No one would ever argue that point.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” 

**************

“Here’s the thing about Bucky.” Tony stole a big handful of popcorn from Clint’s bowl and shoved it all into his mouth. “He calls me all these nicknames, right? And it shouldn’t be half as cute as it is because I don’t like nicknames. Sam called Steve _honey_ the other day and I actually threw a book at him. But Bucky called me sweet thing last night and I think I melted a little bit.” 

“Yeah?” Clint had mastered the art of playing Mario Kart one handed while cramming snacks into his mouth with the other and somehow carrying on a conversation all at the same time. “Had to go upstairs and change your panties, huh?” 

“WHAT?!” 

“Oh please.” Clint emptied a pack of Skittles into his mouth and kept right on going. “It’s not like you two are subtle. Bucky called you sweet thing and you squeaked and sorta crossed your legs and then disappeared upstairs. We all assumed you had to change ye olde tighty whiteys.” 

“Okay well.” Tony cleared his throat. “What I did upstairs isn’t important. The thing about Bucky is he’s the first person that could do you know… that… to me without even trying. I feel like a teenager with a crush. Like if I was fifteen again I’d probably do something embarrassing in my pants if he looked at me for too long.” 

“Yeah, I totally get it.” Another pack of Skittles disappeared into the bottomless pit called Clint Barton. “Sometimes he gets to lookin’ all intense and sorta soft all at the same time and you don’t know whether you should stare back or blow right up cos it’s too much, right?” 

“Yes!” Tony shouted. “Yes! Finally someone gets it!” 

“Or like sometimes he puts all that dumb hair up in a bun and gives himself those ‘accidental on purpose’ bangs that are somehow super sexy hanging down into his eyes?” 

“YES!” Tony could have cried in relief. “Yes, holy crap. He does that! It’s crazy hot!” 

“And then how he folds him arms and smolders at you? Is he pissed off? Is he massively turned on? Who knows!” 

“Oh my god.” Tony grabbed at more popcorn and nearly shouted around it, “Everyone acts like I’m crazy talking about him like this but you see it too!” 

“Totally see it, Tony baby.” 

“Yeah, cos the thing about Bucky is he’s insanely and sort of unfairly burly and fierce! I shouldn’t want to hear him growl! What even is that?! Where did that thought come from? Who growls and why would I find that sexy? And also, the other thing about Bucky is–” 

“– that he’s standing behind you and has been for at least ten minutes.” Clint turned off the game and smecked a kiss to Tony’s cheek. “Good luck, man. Bucky, I’ll give you two the room cos I feel like things are about to get gross.” 

“Ummmm…..” it was the worlds longest minute of silence as Tony sat stock still on the couch, eyes wide enough to hurt, his lungs definitely _not_ working partly from Natasha’s workout early and partly because he was trying to just die right there so he wouldn’t have to face Bucky after saying all of… all of _that_.

“You gonna turn around and look at me? Or make me have th’conversation with the back of your head?” Bucky sounded like he was wearing his _most_ lethal smolder and Tony felt a blush start somewhere around his toe nails and turn him scarlet clear to his scalp. 

“Uh, listen.” He rotated very slowly on the couch, bracing himself for what was sure to be _Captain America_ levels of disapproval. Bucky was from the forties, after all, and _no one_ did disapproval like members of the greatest generation. 

“Listen, I don’t know how much of that you heard. But I wasn’t trying to be weird or anything.” Tony flinched away from the _knowing_ in those blue eyes, fully wanting to fold in on himself and just disappear. “Probably shouldn’t have been shouting about wanting to hear you growl or whatever but it doesn’t have to be–” 

“I heard you’ve been talking about me.” Bucky interrupted and Tony flinched again. “Been chattin’ everyone up about all the different _things_ about me?” 

“Fuck my life, this is the worst conversation I’ve ever had.” Tony muttered. “Seriously Bucky just listen. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I don’t really have a filter? And I say whatever I want to say to whoever happens to be around but that doesn’t mean that I really want to–” 

He thought about he’d blurted out to Rhodey during their phone call at lunch. “– climb you like a tree. Or hear you growl. That’s not a real thing. That’s not– it doesn’t have to be a thing, I was just talking and–” 

“You know the thing about you, baby doll?” Bucky came around the couch and pulled Tony up to standing, the glint in his gaze sharpening in anticipation when the brunette shuddered as their bodies brushed together. “The thing about you is that you talk a whole lot when you’re nervous and tryna cover it up, but you don’t got a reason to be nervous right now, alright?” 

“Well I–” 

“The thing about you, Tony is that a fella would be real dumb to pass up the chance to get you alone.” Silver fingers brushed over Tony’s cheek then slid into his hair and Tony had to work really _really_ hard not to make the sort of noise that meant his underwear needed changed when all the plates in Bucky’s arm shifted and realigned so the big soldier could tug lightly at the loose curls. 

“The thing about you, sugar.” Bucky stepped closer and lowered his voice to what was damn near a _growl_ and whoops there Tony went trying not to melt into a vaguely billionaire shaped puddle. “Is you got the sorta lips that keep a man up at night wonderin’ just how they taste and how good they’d look stretched around my uh–” 

Bucky wet his lips and grinned when Tony _eep_!ed a little in shock. 

“Thing about you, Tony.” Their mouths brushed just barely, not even a real kiss but damn it if Tony didn’t grab onto those stupidly big shoulders for dear life anyway. “Thing about you is I’ve been hearing all the things you like about me and it seems like we should have a talk.” 

“A talk.” Tony repeated hopefully. “A talk about– about more things that involve kissing?” 

“Think we should have a talk about how the things you like about _me_ fit into the things I like about _you_.” Bucky decided. “And yeah, sweet thing, I think that should involve a whole lotta kissin’. That alright with you?” 

“Uh yeah, here’s the thing about me, Buck.” Tony cleared his throat and stood on his toes– the only time in the world he’d admit he was fucking short, thank you very much– “I will always be just fine with anything involving your mouth, okay?” 

“Well that’s real good, then.” Bucky’s smile had no business being so filthy. “Cos the thing about _me_ is that I got all sorts of ideas on exactly how to use my tongue.” 

***************

***************

“OW!” Steve shouted when a book came flying through the living room and ricocheted off his head. “What the hell!” 

“Snitches get stitches!” Natasha hissed, popping up from behind the couch and scaring the Captain half to death. “Why’d you tell Tony I call him pocket sized!” 

“He kept saying he was six feet tall and accusing me of wearing glitter!” Steve rubbed at the back of his head and scowled at the tiny spy. “I had to say something!” 

“You could have not told him my code name for him though!” Natasha vaulted neatly over the couch and burrowed into Steve’s side. “And by the way, you do definitely wear glitter. I’ve seen Sam dust it onto your cheeks before an interview. Don’t pretend he doesn’t, I’ll break out the video footage.” 

“It’s only glitter every once in a while.” Steve’s scowl deepened, then deepened again when Clint came along and asked, “Are we talking about Cap wearing glitter and Sam like, tenderly brushing it on his face? Cos that’s about the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.” 

“IT’S NOT–” Steve stopped talking abruptly, his jaw just about dislocating when Bucky came walking backwards into the room, holding onto Tony with both hands and smiling down at the little brunette as Tony murmured–

“The thing about you Bucky is that your dick game is _amazing_.” 

“Yeah well the thing about _you_ doll, is that your ass is made for takin’ it.” Bucky murmured back, and Clint made a horrified sort of noise when Tony only made smoochy noises and returned, “Well the thing about _you_ baby is that you have incredible thighs and I think you should put me right over them and spank me.” 

“Thing ‘bout _you_ kitten is–” 

“GOD DAMN IT YOU TWO!” Another book, this one courtesy of Bruce who lobbed what was basically a dictionary at Bucky’s back. “I already kicked you out of the lab, don’t make me ban you from the Tower, JARVIS already listens to me, I swear I’ll do it!” 

“Bruce is mad.” Tony giggled, and Bucky clutched him up tighter. “We should do this somewhere else where we can get naked again.” 

“The thing about you, Tony.” Bucky drawled and palmed low over that ridiculous butt. “Is that you always got the best ideas. Lead the way.” 

Tony flashed a triumphant smile at the room over his shoulder and Bruce grumbled, “The thing about me? Is that I will Hulk out and smash them if they don’t get less gross _soon_.” 

“Yeah, I second that.” 

“Absolutely.” 

“Nah, I think it’s cute.” Clint disagreed. “They kiss and tell each other everything they like about each other? It’s adorable. Bucky gets to be soft and sweet, Tony gets to be spoiled and everything. Adorable.” 

“Uh huh.” Nat sounded unimpressed. “What’s the real reason you’re pro- that mess?” 

Clint pursed his lips stubbornly and only when Steve gave his most disapproving throat-clear did he admit, “I texted Sam about it and we’ve got a bet for how long it takes Tony to propose to Bucky. I said ten days tops, He thinks it will be a week.” 

“Six.” Natasha disagreed, and pulled a fifty from her pocket. “Tony’s never gone more than a week without doing something absolutely bonkers. It will be six days.” 

“Damn it.” Steve rummaged around for some cash too. “It will be four days, because Bucky’s been stupid about Tony for at least a year and he’s on this weird kick about seizing the day and never letting an opportunity slip by.” 

“Tomorrow.” Bruce said from his chair. “Bucky’s going to slip up and say something about how he likes that Tony is spontaneous and Tony’s going to say ‘hey you know what would be really spontaneous’? and the jet will take off and they’ll go to Vegas.” 

“…what?” 

“… what?!” 

“Fifty bucks says I’m right.” he shrugged. “Just wait and see.” 

************

Later that night, Bucky rolled to his side and ran his left hand down Tony’s back, along the bump of his spine and up and over the curve of his rear. “You know one’a my favorite things about you, Tony?” 

“Wazzat?” Tony was fucked out and drooling, barely coherent against the pillows. “Gonna say somethin’ bout my butt again?” 

“Always.” Bucky grinned and so did Tony. “But I was gonna say the best thing about you is how spontaneous you are. You always got good ideas and then your eyes light up all pretty and you get this gorgeous smile and then you’re off runnin’ to do whatever th’hell you thought of. Maybe now I’ll get to be a part of it all, huh?” 

“Whatever you want, babe.” Tony scooched over and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s lips, then his eyes lit up and his mouth curved up in a smile– “Hey you know what would be _really_ spontaneous….?”


End file.
